26/02/17    Going to Japan, I’ve always dreamed of it, ever since I read my first manga ‘Kocchimuite, Miiko!’ in elementary school. That dream, my precious childhood dream, I swore that I would never give it up. I still remember tho, how frustrated I was when I realized that going to a university in Japan is extremely difficult, nearly impossible for me. The only way for me to go to Japan is by scholarship, and my mom said that unless I get a full scholarship, I can’t go to Japan. And, on the other hand, I don’t want to burden my mom by forcing her to send me to Japan. Again, I swore. I’ll work hard, I’ll go to Japan with my OWN blood, sweat, and tears! That time, I had no idea what kind of hard works am I going to do. Because, duh—swearing is easy. And, here I am right now. Bringing back home a trophy plus a certificate plus a chance to go to Japan. So, I joined a competition about Japan and its grand prize is a trip to Japan. I knew that information from my Japanese teacher in my previous Japanese school. I was reluctant at first, since I wanted to participate in the Kanji contest, not this contest about Japan. But, I already told my mom that I wanted to join. It was a spontaneous decision. After some days, when my mom was confirming my participation, I got mad for some reasons. I cancelled. I thought, there’s no way I’d win! We even got into a little fight. My mom, on the other hand, still registered it for me anyway. She said that she already paid the registration fee, so I was just like O well, whatever, I’ll just give it a try. There’s no way I’d win! But, uuhhh well, it’s fine even if I don’t win. Just giving it a tryyy. Just killin' my timee. Yes, that’s what I thought. So, this competition is divided into three stages. The first one is the elimination, then comes semi-final and finally the final. Whoever gets the best point with the shortest time can go to the next stage. In the first stage, I admit that the questions were rather hard. They asked me about Japanese political system. Me? My major is science, not social, so I randomly answered those I labelled hard. So, I think the reason why I got into semi-final because there were some questions about Japanese language. I’m pretty sure I answered the Japanese language section perfectly, that’s why. Still, I was kinda nervous because other contestants did it fast. I thought Even if I stare at it for 3 hours, there’s no way I’d know! Whatever! I’m just praying that my guesses are right! I’m collecting it rn!
After that, there were other competitions and I already thought that I wouldn’t make it to the next stage. At break, I already thought あー、帰ろうか。(Sometimes I speak in another language inside my head. Here it means ‘ah, let's go home’) But, I told my self that even if I'm gonna lose, I wanted to make sure that I lost. So, I waited for the announcement. And, correct. I got into the next stage. I was like Really? Is it true? Omg. Well, I still don’t know whether I’m gonna make it to the next stage, so yeaah. Hold down your expectations! And in the semi-final, the questions were much easier since they didn’t ask me about politics or whatsoever again. There, I had more confidence than before.
And yes, I got into the final stage. In final stage, we got into the stage and it was a quiz. Only 5 people got to the final stage. I found it a lot more easier in the final stage because it was all about Japanese language. Hiragana, katakana, that was easier than Japanese political system. And so yeah, when they told me that I won, I was like O boi. I wasn’t expecting this. O my o my. What? Now I win? I get to go to Japan?? 本当に？マジかよ？！あたしのか？勝つ？これは夢じゃない、でしょう？So yeah. That is what happened. I won the first place, and I got the grand prize. But, now my head hurts so bad, I wonder why? Is it because my eyesight get worse today?? Ah I should get some early rest.

Now you know how pessimistic I was before I joined that competition, that I wanted to give up, even before I gave it a try. You know, if you don't give it a try, your chance of winning is zero and that's for sure. But, if you dare to try, I promise you, there's a chance, even if it's just 1%. Besides, there's nothing wrong in giving it a try, there's nothing wrong if you fail at first.

It may seem like I didn't work hard to win the first place. I didn't feel like it as well. But my friends and those around me said that my hard works are paid off. And I was just like 'Which hard works???' then I just realized that it didn't seem like a burden to me, because I learned Japanese willingly and I did those hard works with tons of motivation. It feels great actually, that I actually get to go to Japan without asking for my parent's money. I got to fulfill my dream on my own. And, this satisfied feeling because now I don't have to read people's story reaching their dreams. I have my own story of reaching my dreams.

Here's some highlight of how to reach your dreams (bc I know-- you precious living human, you also have a dream) :

Believe. Every one in this world has their lucky moment at some time. Believe that your time will also come.

Give it a try. Try your luck at every possible chances. Every. Goddamn. Chances.

Pray. If you think that your dreams are-- well, out of your league, and you believe in God by any chance, you can't just use humane power to reach them. God has better plans than yours.

Work for it. You know that Newton's 1st law? If you don't give it a force, it'll never move. The same goes for your dream, if you do nothing for it, you won't get it.

Those are pretty cliche, actually lol. But, I did them in order to reach my dream, hope this works for you as well! You've read my 'success' story, don't you? Now go carve your own! I'm wishing you good luck throughout your way to reach your dream!

P.s.: This post was first Published in 11 Mar 2017 17:49.

I’m literally fifteen right now, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be.

If you have dreams, let me tell you. Please keep it, please don’t you dare give it away. Dream as much as you can, as much as you want. Because when you’re in the last year of high school, you may need those dreams to support you, so you won’t fall.

Let your dreams guide you.

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迷った。

It’s depressing, you know? When your classmates already decided where they want to go, what they want to be in the future. And you’re just sitting there, not knowing exactly what your heart wants. I wonder how to understand what my heart’s saying when it can’t speak.

I was once a dreamer. I have tons of dreams I wanted to accomplish. But, now I think that this pressure shattered them. I don’t even know anymore what my passions/hobbies are. I’m not even sure about my capabilities.  I start to compare myself with others. I start to care more about what I can’t do rather than developing what I can do.

Time is money and I’m poor. I need more time to think carefully so I won’t make some ridiculous mistakes. But, I can’t buy time. I’m running out of time and my heart is still unsettled.

Humans-- made of complex atom’s structure, a soul with dreams and anxiety. That’s what we are.

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That’s why. Please fight for your dreams. Work hard for it-- at least giving your all to something you like won’t be too much burden, right? If you find something that interests you, don’t bother to think twice to learn more about it.

If we’re on the same boat, don’t worry, friends. This journey may be a long, complicated one.  But, we are all destined to land on our own destination. So, you may enjoy the ride and don’t forget to breath.

忘年会だ！Yes, it’s Bonenkai 11! I was so excited for this festival since it’s in Bogor and I really love matsuri! This activity is held on January, 14-15th 2017 at Hotel Salak The Heritage, Bogor. Oh, and it also charges fee (Rp25000,00/person). I wanted to attend this festival for two days, but tomorrow I have tryout, shh. My initial plan was to watch Seiyuu/Anime dubbing that is written down on their itinerary... but I ended up hunting merchandise from my favorite anime. And hunting down Japanese foods. I didn’t watch that anime dubbing at last...

This was the first time I came to matsuri alone. Though I planned to meet my friend there, but at first I was all alone and I even got lost inside. Honestly, it felt kind of weird passing a group of people all alone, but I enjoyed it. Going places alone isn’t that bad, I think. But, if there are friends to multiply the happiness, why not?

I wanted to try 'Sadako House' as well, but we didn't want to queue. And, it is stated that there is supposed to be a maid & butler cafe, but I didn't find it (or more like I didn't remember to ask). But there were some other interesting performances, like 書道 [ Shodō; calligraphy ], Taiko performance and a dance competition.

If you're somehow somewhat staying in Bogor and you're into japan/anime/manga, I really recommend you to come and feel the real excitement there. Ah, and don't forget to bring cash!

 一人でとか友達と一緒にとか、今日は楽しかった。それより、ハイキュー！！の商品がいっぱいある！

 

このだんごはスッゲーおいしかった。